Lydden

A long, long time ago, in a Galaxy called Bemsee on the planet Lydden.
I adjusted the settings on my light sabre - it wasnt against the force so they couldnt touch me for it.

Boba Job smiled across the service bay. He had just fitted the titanium tri-oxide plasma converters to rd2t, my companion on this trip to Lydden, the planet of low friction co-efficient. This was my first trip there as a member of the Jedi Clubman Order. I'd paid the fees and sent off three box tops from Pizza the Hut Aan-Di specials. My Jedi badge and X-ray specs had arrived just in time - tho unfortunately the Colonel wandered into my line of vision as I tried these - I''m hoping the resultant psychological scarring will heal in time ,,,,

Obi Wan Balli - Master Jedi - took me aside and said "Use the force, Look!" and with a wave of his hand showed me the perfect path through the Pah-dok asteroid field. With a wave of his other hand he produced 2 rabbits, a string of scarves and 5 aces.I made a mental note not to play cards with him. I had the feeling, as I watched him use his light sabre to start the barbie and then trim his nails, that he wasnt taking his role as a Jedi seriously.

Back at the Millenium Falcon, I put my Jedi powers to good use and disguised it as a Renault Van, it makes it easier to reverse. Pat complained about the fit of his Princess Leia costume. I lied and told him he really could wear chiffon and after a few tears he cheered up. As an aside Team Charley Horse is looking for a new brolly dolly, indecent pictures of your neighbour hanging out her washing by way of application to handsolo@pervy_old_git.com.

At the back of the grid I sensed his presence, somewhere nearby was Daft Wader, the embodiment of the dark side. I patted rd2t lightly on the tank, so be it. The final battle was about to begin, the eternal struggle between good and evil, between the light and the dark, between me and anyone getting to the chequered flag before me - ok so thats practically everyone ,,, but your ruining a good story. So I shall honour you all in the time honoured single digit salute of the Clubman Jedi from the back o' the grid at Brands - May the force be with you. You'll need it ,,,,,,

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