Lydden Snetterton

Round two of Monty Hamsters Flying Circus rolled into Lydden and straight into a cold, damp Saturday. I was acting Pit Gimp for the Rangi Racing Corporation. I had started as Acting Pit Boss, but after getting confused by those race number call thingy's his corporate vastness nearly missed race one. With hindsight it was a revelation to see our own token Colonial move with the speed and poise of a true athlete. After that I would support any move to see his discipline recognised by the Olympic Events Commission. Sadly I think that they will not look favourably on lounging around, eating pistachios, drinking vodka n coke and farting while channel surfing as the new Pentathlon.

Sat eve saw the world premier of "LE HAMSTERS RAPIDE" to critical acclaim. This is footage from last years races that I edited together and put to music. Copies of which will be available for a fiver, all proceeds to club funds

Celebrating my cinematic triumph in "Team Write Off's" luxury mobile home, its their home, its got wheels, got a little out of hand and somewhat "Tired and Emotional" I made my way down to the Team NoBra and Team Dam-it enclave. Marcus "Hung like a" Donkersley was handing out beers to celebrate losing his crash cherry, aw bless.

Fish, however had a more serious issue, in that he was complaining about lipstick on his cup. Its not my area of expertise but I'm sure there are non smear formulas he could use that would solve this problem. But as a Scouser he is probably nicking Sharon's or whatever is nearest the door at Superdrug. I made my excuses and left when he started moaning about the runs in his panty hose, trying to rid myself of the image of a motorcycle racing Lily Savage.

Sunday saw Lydden bathed in cool and bright sunshine and after the races I made my way back to Ipswich looking forward to a slap up tea and an afterburner or two. Alas for the second time in a year my exhaust split in two. I should have expected it since moving to Suffolk I have had many similar problems. In fairness to the locals it must be difficult to properly fit an exhaust when you lack opposable thumbs. Sadly my slap up tea turned into a Ginsters meat by-product and edible plastic nutri-chew while I waited for the tow truck.

I now had to get ready for Snett. My plan had been to be out for Brands in May since it seemed my engine wouldn't be ready and a change of job had left me a bit short, more so when my new employers forgot to pay me. So the Fast Hamsters came to the aid of International Rescues Thunderbird2 and you all passed the hat to spring for my entry fee. What can I say but "BASTARDS." There I was looking forward to a lazy couple of weeks tinkering in the shed, drinking coffee, ordering parts and surfing eBay. I now had to get my finger off my mouse and set it to work scratching my arse.

It was at this time that my line manager decided to try and get me to do some work. Worst part of a new role is breaking in a manager and getting him to recognise that I operate best in an advisory role. I am always available to advise him on who he should get to do what ever he needs done. When fully aware of the team structure he will no longer need my advice and I can get back to drinking coffee and surfing the net for tzr bits.

So it was then that I rolled into Snetterton on Thursday afternoon, set up in garage 24 and unveiled my 07 Malboro light inspired paint job. Tobacco sponsorship is not a unique theme this year since we also have "Team Dam-it" - the mild dog end found under Benches n Hedges. They also sport matching leathers and a suitable team motto "I'm not gay and neithers my boyfriend". Friday was a case of running in my new engine and after three sessions I dropped the jetting and gave it a quick spin to see how it all went and get ready for race one on Sat.

Practice was enlivened by our very own Rangi, who despite actually having a pilots licence - though its actually a "Shreddibits" Space commander id with the words Space Commander crayoned out and Pilots licence substituted, still doesn't understand that sustained flight is only possible with a favourable power to weight ratio. Nor has he mastered the real hard bit in flying, landing. This is the hard bit because in essence you are aiming at the ground and hoping to just miss.

"Purple" Pete Flynn also had a whoopsie in practice, tho coming back after two years out of racing does give him a valid excuse. I bimbled round proving that crashing isn't big or clever, but will any of you listen. So it was that I lined up for race one and feeling like I wanted to be almost anywhere but on the grid at Snett. My anxiety wasn't helped by people stalling on the grid at what seemed like every race. I really took until Sunday before I felt relaxed and my confidence started to return. Still it was good to get back on the horse at Snett and to finish my first meet of 07. Race two on Sunday even put a smile on my face as I chased Team NoBra's latest signing Andy "Moose" Muse to the flag.

Next up is Brands Indy and a Sat eve get together for all the YPMRC. With so many new faces round the paddock its time we had a get together. So make a note to come round to the lower Paddock at 8pm Sat eve for a drink n some nibbles. We will also be having a small raffle to help boost YPMRC funds.

This is George Watson for Back O' the Grid wondering why just cos its on a cocktail stick cheese, onion and pineapple are supposed to be in any way edible. See you all at Brands.

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