CROIX en TERNOIS

"Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves," not a description of the YPM but a pop tune sung by Cher before she was re-cast in silicon. This passable pop ditty reared me from my slumbers and sent me on autopilot to the shower, stopping only to switch on "Gandalf the Shiny," my fusion powered coffee maker. Dr Who may need a Tardis to travel in Time and Space, me, I just need "Gandalf the shiny." Rumours that the deforestation of the rain forest are due to my consumption of coffee are true. Unrepentant, I ask you "Where was the Rain Forrest at 3:30 am."

Despite my Chef and emergency navigator - if he's navigating its an emergency - Ludo standing on the imaginary passenger foot brake I made good time to Swanley, from where I picked up Purple Pete. Three hours later we were in France but thanks to Ludo's navigation that didn't last. I suspected we were in trouble when the natives starting replying to his request for directions in Spanish. We finally arrived at Croix, set up camp and I went off to get scruited and checked the bike over readying it for practice.

Race one: I made a decent start and was chasing Andy "Mr T" Tempest. All was going to plan till turn two on lap three. How good am I on the brakes? I can outbrake myself and did. In an effort to make it up I gave it 11 on the loud switch. As I sat in the kitty litter looking at the spectators I began to suspect that my cunning plan had gone awry. Luckily the damage was confined to a bar, lever, footpeg and a bent steering damper. I hadn't appreciated just how much that damper did till I had to ride without it. Lively but absolutely predictable, Mr Yamaha really got his sums right with the tzr.

Race two: I went out just to practice for Sunday and rebuild my confidence and did my best to get turn one right, which I struggled with. Even though I thought I knew Croix I should have done the practice day, if only to sort out probs like this. I managed a 1:08 a second slower than last year. Congratulations to Adam Cole for lifting the A&R racing "Rider of the day" award. There should be a special "Perseverance in the face of adversity award" for Griggsy who had a time of it, even picking up a ten second jump start penalty. At least he didnt have Ludo insisting that he try a particular type of French sausage, made apparently from eyeballs, testicles, lips and arseholes. In Scotland we call stuff like this Haggis and enjoy serving it to tourists.

Race one Sunday: I huffed and puffed, snatched at the brakes and throttle, stamped my way through the box and should'nt have been surprised to find myself dropping to 1:09's. So for race two I went out determined to be smooth and just enjoy myself. It worked. I got a good start, though not as good as Bally or Daz. Who from the back of the grid came past like they were jet propelled or hadn't bothered slowing down from the warm up lap. I settled in behind Andy "Mr T" Tempest and Andy Shaw. These two should just settle it with clubs, no quarter was asked or given. I managed to slide past Mr T on the brakes a couple of times but he came straight back at the next corner. Poor Alan Priddle was on the receiving end of all this as the three of us freight-trained him into the left hander. Eventually Mr T put a move an Andy S and made it stick and I got my chance on the last lap into turn three when Andy ran wide. I got the drive into 4 and saw yellow flags round turn 5 and made myself as wide as I could into the last turn and made it to the line with a new PB of 1:06 and one point for 15th place and a cheesy self-satisfied grin on my face for the rest of the week.

With a ferry to catch and a detour into Belgium to stock up on baccy I made a swift departure, next year I'll linger for the party. In an effort to catch the earlier ferry I had my foot planted into the carpet. With the speedo nudging 95 as I overtook a wall of artics I leaned over to Purple Pete and asked him to request that if Ludo was going to clack through his rosary could he at least do it in time to the music. This we both found hugely amusing, Ludo looked like he was going to need therapy to get over it. Incidentaly he fancies his chances at Croix next year. If he makes it I'd ask you all to remember Agincourt and the opener from Euro 2004.

Alas I wont be at Pembury, a bit of a shame I had my best ever result there last year in the monsoon conditions. So I'll see you all at Brands. This is George Watson for Back O' the Grid, have a good one at Pembury.

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